Armadillo Eggs
by Chef Executive Belly David Lauterbach
Original Recipe by Bill McCranor
You've heard it before... in Texas they do everything big. So as true as the tale of Pecos Bill ridin' that tornada from here to the state line, this recipe takes the little bastard that has become known as a popper, and made a big ass deal out of it. These hot sons a bitches will make your mouth scream for mercy I'll tell you what.
Ingredients:
12 fresh small to medium jalapenos
1/2 lb Shredded jack cheese
1/2 lb Shredded cheddar cheese
1 lb hot sausage (like Owens or .Jimmy Dean)
1 1/2 Cup of Bisquick
2 Eggs
1 pk of Spicy Shake N Bake
1 package of Rolaids
Slice those jalapeno sons a bitches in half lengthwise down one side only and scrape out the seeds. If you accidentally cut all the way through, the pepper is ruined and you have to eat it right now. Do this for each error you make. Now break apart or chop up the sausage into a frying pan and continue to break it apart with your spatula while browning it. Remove it from the pan, and if necessary, chop it up with a knife on a large cutting board.
Shred your cheeses. Stuff each jalapeno with shredded jack cheese and get them in a state of readiness, telling each one (out of earshot of the others) that he is the hottest pepper of them all and that this is his destiny. If yer one of them fancy boys from the northwest, you may want to stuff him full of cream cheese; but that my boy, ain't right.
Get your oven preheated to 375 degrees and spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray. Put the sausage into a bowl and mix the Bisquick, cheddar cheese and pre-scrambled eggs right in. Add water if necessary to make yer goop manageable. On a separate plate or shallow bowl, put the Shake N Bake.
Now grab up a handful of the sausage goo and wrap it around the pepper in the shape of a big ol' turd. Be sure to cover the entire pepper or the cheese will blow out of the side like a mare yer ridin' that ain't broke yet. Then roll that bastard around in the Shake N Bake to coat him up evenly. Put him down on the cookie sheet. If you have any idea where the slicin' hole is, try to put that end up to minimize cheese loss.
When the all peppers are all ready, bake 'em like it's high noon on the prairie (at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or till crisp).
Suck down a six pack of Texas size 22 ounce Santa Fe Pale Ales with that and get drunker than a (yer own western colloquialism here). Ye Ha!
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